Well then, if it isn't the biggest brotherist of all citizenship antics yet. Just when you're poised to jump the hoop, the hoop gets bigger, is moved or set up at the Tate for all to witness you tripping over.
What does Britishness mean? Let me ask you this, is there anyone left on the planet that is not aware of the British Isles, the United Kingdom, England, Wales, and or Scotland? Is there an inch of the planet that hasn't been conquered, colonised or pulverized by one and the same at some time in it's history or haven't been subjected to British media, British music, British language, British law or British beef?
Lets measure up the effort at determining Britishness and our worthiness of it, shall we?
According to Lord.... wait, please stop me right there...Lord? I still have trouble understanding how in this day and age when peerages were handed out like gift tokens at Christmas, would anyone still want to refer to themselves as Lord. Aahh, yes. He's British. Well Lord Whatisname wants to give us a another day off in the calendar to celebrate Britishness. Is this really an accurate reflection of what the British public want? A national holiday during which we will wave the original red, white and blue for a day, or is it just another excuse to take a day off and rack up more points on the Binge Drinking scale as a means of propping up the failing economy a la our darling, Darling?
His Goldshipness also wants to give us council tax discounts for volunteer work, changes to current categories of citizenship, language "loans" for new immigrants to learn English, a type of community service to enhance "citizen education" and special ceremonies for school-leavers.
I'm all for tax breaks, improved language skills, (...er... for everyone...) and days off but I draw the line at publicly humiliating rights of passage for teenagers... Hang on! On the other hand that might become the new national sport a la a perverse reversed Clockwork Orange. Another fine example of British Cinema I might add.
But all that aside this is my favourite.
In all honesty, I am frightened. I continue to see half hearted attempts at uniting what is rapidly becoming a fractured country, and as a foreigner , I am worried. Worried for the thousands of people that sit in the proverbial purgatory of waiting, worrying, and wondering if in fact they will ever be citizens of this country. If they will ever get over having to pay for the privilege of being bled dry of of every pence that lines their pockets with soaring cost of living increases, interest rates and taxes. A country that on one hand bends to the whim of white Anglo-Saxon scaremongering, in the name of political correctness and fundamentalist groups in the name of "respect" while on the same hand denies life and sight saving medications to it's own elders, claiming it costs too much. A country that holds our... my... future security hostage for 1000 quid all in the name of citizenship.
I will not be deterred however, all his Lordships and teenager bashing aside, I will continue to study to take the test, try and raise that £1000 and purge my Canadianism so that I too can go to the Tate Modern to jump that proverbial hoop.
What does Britishness mean? Let me ask you this, is there anyone left on the planet that is not aware of the British Isles, the United Kingdom, England, Wales, and or Scotland? Is there an inch of the planet that hasn't been conquered, colonised or pulverized by one and the same at some time in it's history or haven't been subjected to British media, British music, British language, British law or British beef?
Lets measure up the effort at determining Britishness and our worthiness of it, shall we?
According to Lord.... wait, please stop me right there...Lord? I still have trouble understanding how in this day and age when peerages were handed out like gift tokens at Christmas, would anyone still want to refer to themselves as Lord. Aahh, yes. He's British. Well Lord Whatisname wants to give us a another day off in the calendar to celebrate Britishness. Is this really an accurate reflection of what the British public want? A national holiday during which we will wave the original red, white and blue for a day, or is it just another excuse to take a day off and rack up more points on the Binge Drinking scale as a means of propping up the failing economy a la our darling, Darling?
His Goldshipness also wants to give us council tax discounts for volunteer work, changes to current categories of citizenship, language "loans" for new immigrants to learn English, a type of community service to enhance "citizen education" and special ceremonies for school-leavers.
I'm all for tax breaks, improved language skills, (...er... for everyone...) and days off but I draw the line at publicly humiliating rights of passage for teenagers... Hang on! On the other hand that might become the new national sport a la a perverse reversed Clockwork Orange. Another fine example of British Cinema I might add.
But all that aside this is my favourite.
Foreigners who cannot take British nationality because their home nationsI say again...WTF? What is residual citizenship? Is it the fading connection to where you once belonged prior to becoming British; the erosion of prior personal identity in exchange for what amounts to born again virginity of nationalist British pride? Oh yes and I laughed the laugh of a man with big testicles when I read the "associate citizens" idea. I mean I'm not one for always having my cake and eating it too...I said not always...but come on, either one can become a citizen of Britain and still maintain some degree of pride in their birthplace or never become a full citizen at all? Has this country finally succumbed to the homogenised thinking that it once imposed on others?
do not permit dual citizenship should become "associate citizens" of the UK,
and certain types of residual citizenship would be abolished.
In all honesty, I am frightened. I continue to see half hearted attempts at uniting what is rapidly becoming a fractured country, and as a foreigner , I am worried. Worried for the thousands of people that sit in the proverbial purgatory of waiting, worrying, and wondering if in fact they will ever be citizens of this country. If they will ever get over having to pay for the privilege of being bled dry of of every pence that lines their pockets with soaring cost of living increases, interest rates and taxes. A country that on one hand bends to the whim of white Anglo-Saxon scaremongering, in the name of political correctness and fundamentalist groups in the name of "respect" while on the same hand denies life and sight saving medications to it's own elders, claiming it costs too much. A country that holds our... my... future security hostage for 1000 quid all in the name of citizenship.
I will not be deterred however, all his Lordships and teenager bashing aside, I will continue to study to take the test, try and raise that £1000 and purge my Canadianism so that I too can go to the Tate Modern to jump that proverbial hoop.
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